Each year, June marks the celebration of Pride Month, which amplifies LGBTQ+ voices and experiences with parades, festivals, and educational events. Pride commemorates the Stonewall Uprising of 1969, when targeted police raids on the Stonewall Inn resulted in LGBTQ communities fighting back in protest. Stonewall became a watershed moment in the ongoing movement for Queer rights.
As an organization founded on the value of inclusion, Sigma Delta Tau celebrates all members. The core value of strength in individuality recognizes and uplifts each member’s experience, perspectives, and uniqueness. Learning about one another builds our capacity to be more empathetic, educated, and to serve as allies for those who need support.
In the spirit of Pride month and education, several SDT sisters agreed to share their experiences around coming out and celebrating Pride. Though the official celebrations ended on June 30th, the honesty of the sisters’ accounts is worth reading. They remind us that the spirit of Pride lasts all year long.
“Every time I’m in a crowd of Queer people I feel an immense sense of belonging, safety, and love,” she said. “I try to attend as many Pride events as I can,” said Skylar Monaghan (Gamma Phi–York), who identifies as Queer. She enjoys the parades and marches offered during Pride month and usually attends with her girlfriend and her chosen Queer family.
Skylar came out for the first time to a chapter sister as a student. “When I told her, I was teary eyed and shaking, but she pulled me into the best hug,” Skylar said. “And in words I will never forget, she told me, ‘This doesn’t change anything – I love you just the same.’” Skylar said the whole chapter followed with love and support, and those traits expanded into her alumna experience.
“My chapter sisters were incredibly supportive and never made me question my place in the chapter or the friendships I had,” she said. “Every June 1st, my consultant sisters send me a “Happy Pride!” text and change our group chat photo to a rainbow.”
Ja-Miyah Hurry (Rho–Alabama) is in a very different place in her journey. She recently came out and is celebrating her first Pride since identifying as a lesbian to others.
Although she doesn’t have specific traditions established yet, she does have her own sources of support. “I tend to express my sexuality through my art. It gives me reassurance to be happy with who I am,” she said, then added, “My sisterhood has been the best supportive system throughout my journey. My sisters accepted me, even if I had trouble navigating through my sexuality.”
Community is a prominent theme. For Alillia Bowden (Gamma Tau–Columbia), a bisexual woman, community and love in her SDT sisterhood are meaningful to her. “Celebrating in community with friends and family is always a part of my tradition,” she said. “While I didn’t get a chance to see everyone, I know that so many of my sisters were also at the NYC Pride parade this year, and it made me so happy to know that they were there celebrating with me all around the city.”
One such chapter sister was Rory Collins (Gamma Tau–Columbia). She recently came out to family and friends as a bisexual woman. “This year was my first NYC pride parade, and I will definitely be making it a more annual tradition,” Rory said. “I loved spending time with my friends, seeing sisters at the parade, and overall feeling joyful and proud of who I am.”
Rory said she basks in the inclusive spirit of her chapter at Columbia. “All I knew about sororities [were the] stereotypes. I was worried none of the other girls would be like me,” she said. “When I stepped into the recruitment room… I knew Gamma Tau and SDT were where I belonged. Multiple leaders in the chapter spoke about their experiences as Queer women in a sorority, and I realized that the stereotype I had held for so long was incredibly false.”
Rory saw chapter friends at NYC Pride. “It felt like a breath of fresh air to see my sisters out and about while having fun with the community,” she said. “I am so grateful to have such amazing friends within both SDT and other groups to share this hope with.”
Alillia echoes the sentiment about her Gamma Tau sisters being a strong, supportive community. “Inclusion has always been important to me, and I am so grateful to my sisters for their inclusivity,” she said. “No one in our chapter has ever treated me any differently because of my sexuality and I have even been elected to our chapter’s executive board. I am so grateful to have such a diverse and supportive community of sisters.”
Alillia encourages allies to get involved too. “I would recommend connecting with LGBTQ+ organizations that offer opportunities to support or volunteer. I would also recommend looking online to see what kinds of events are happening in your city, while remembering that you are there to support and celebrate others.”
Ja-Miyah agrees, emphasizing the importance of allies making themselves known. “I believe standing for sisters and taking the time to know why Pride is so important is a great way to show that you support them. Having that support group will make coming out a lot easier, but also a lot safer.”
“You deserve every bit of love and respect from your friends, family, and your sisterhood,” Ja-Miyah said, “For any sisters that are struggling to come out or feeling unsafe, when you feel comfortable enough to come out, you will know. Your sexual identity is a very big and important part of you.”
Skylar’s ideas about advocacy charge both LGBTQ+ folks and their allies with action steps. “We are so lucky to live in a world where we are so connected to resources and where Queer and trans folks have platforms that we can follow and support,” she said. “Seek out and support Queer creators, read a book, or watch a documentary about the history of Pride.”
As far as allyship, Skylar said clarity matters. “Make it abundantly clear to your friends and fellow members your allyship,” said Skylar. “You don’t know how much it could mean to your sisters who are still exploring their identity, or who aren’t out yet.”
“For any member who is struggling to come out or live authentically, I see you and I understand,” Skylar added. “The journey is uniquely yours, and your physical, mental and emotional safety has to come first above all else. Utilize the confidential resources available on campus as an outlet and know that SDT can be a resource for you. From volunteers to chapter members and alumni, there are sisters in your network.”
Rory offered her own advice to women struggling to come out.
“I can only offer my own experience,” she said. “I grew up in a pretty liberal area and knew I would be accepted as a bisexual woman if I ever came out, but I was so scared it would change how people perceived me.”
Rory said she worried people would see her differently or feel uncomfortable in her company. “When I came out though, it felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I could officially show off my whole self, not just the part that I thought people expected to see,” she said. “You may lose some friends when coming out, but in the process, you gain millions of community members who may become close friends in the future.”
Rory also encourages allies’ participation in LGBTQ+ activism and education. “As long as you are respectful, allies are some of the most important people at a march…and it is so wonderful to watch them bring such joy to this community!”
Skylar agreed that there is an important space for allies. “The LGBTQ+ community is a welcoming space for everyone, and I highly recommend that every ally attend events in your local community… from drag brunches, to fundraisers, and parades,” she said.
For Rory, the authenticity of being out and supported is refreshing. “I have never been happier than the day I realized I could be my true self when it came to my sexuality and not feel the pressure of acting “straight” for society any longer,” she said.
Though Pride is over, allyship, support, and embracing your identity are ideals that can be honed and strengthened throughout the year. For more support and information, visit some of the following resources: